Thursday, January 29, 2009

I'm Going to Indie Rock My Way To The Bank!

There is something deeply twisted about this. I love the goofy names of the instructors. (I didn't link to the actual dvd because... well, I like you.)

They're called things like "Chaos" and "Page Turner." When you resort to porn names, you are really in an odd area. I was willing to accept porn indie rockers, actually. It didn't seem like such a leap from singing about love to...love. But this is amazing. Sad and funny at the same time. Like inflatable furniture.

I'm looking forward to the spin offs. Yoga for the straight edger, with Bold lyrics to meditate to! Special guest instructor Drug Free. I'm as straight as the line that my plank pose forms! Yoga for Goth kids, with your instructor Gloom, and his submissive slave, Doom. You don't actually do a workout in the goth yoga. You practice getting into and out of leather costumes.

I don't really get the audience here. I truly hope it's teenagers and college kids looking to workout, and not housewives trying to reclaim some strange credibility for their kids. Although the irony factor probably falls away quickly with something like this, I suppose that is an option too.

I do feel god about this in one way: this is the death knell for indie rock. No one can ever use that phrase again without me thinking of this hilarious marketing campaign and being a little bit happier than I was before I ever knew who the Get Up Kids were. So thank you, anonymous businessman, for making me laugh about love songs...again.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

resorting to porn names doesn't seem like a bad idea to me. come on! when else am i going to be able to use the name "smartz partz?"

jeff said...

yep. this seals it. when i get my time machine and go back in time to get rid of people who have made the world a worse place by their presence (you know, like robert frost), that whole weird late-90s emo shading to indie thing has got to go. i even like some of those bands, and a few of the records. but mineral, the early braid and getupkids 7"'s, and elliot are a small price to pay to purify the world.

Anonymous said...

You do realize that if they can't use "indie-rock" they will definitely use "post-indie-rock"

That, or they will still like indie rock, but in an ironic way.

Ryan Beggar said...

I like irony in an indie rock way. does that count?

cathyjoel said...

Does this mean we have to rule out "Page Turner" as our second child's name?

jeff said...

irony in an indie rock way? so you're ironically ironic?

is that like meta-irony?

Anonymous said...

post-irony?

Ryan Beggar said...

@cathy I think page turner is great, IF you promise to make her become a librarian.