Sunday, January 18, 2009

Child Juggling. Fun. Low Cost, Join a League!

I spend most of my time dealing with kids. Either my children or someone else's child is typically with me wherever I go. I enjoy this quite a bit, and it amazes me that most people don't. I had a bizarre conversation with a mother this week who was basically trying to find a way to find ways to keep her child away from her.

I understand needing a break, certainly. Kids take a lot of energy and time. But if I get more than a few hours away from my kids, I miss them. As they grow, they're going to have more and more of their own activities and hobbies, and my time will naturally decrease. That is the way things work, and it's fine. I look forward to being older and having my children live full and productive lives, and I don't regret that this will happen. But I can't imagine wishing that time away sooner.

One of the reasons I work with children is that I love them. They are so direct, and sweet. People sometimes think they are angelic, or pure, which I think is a big mistake. They hit and bite and scream too. But they do it honestly. There is a sincerity to kids, especially toddlers, that I really enjoy. The hippies who wish we could all just "be like kids" are pretty messed up, however. I'm glad I don't cry when I drop a raisin, or hide when I poop. I'm grateful to my wife when I bring up buying a new computer and she doesn't just scream at me or hit me and take the credit cards. Adult dialogue is rewarding and useful.

That said, I also don't get the people who want their children, or any children for that matter, to just go away. They are fun, and goofy and sincere. That's worth a little trouble. And they very quickly grow up and go away. That's worth the time.

Some of Viri's greatest hits so far:

"The poop was trying to escape. I said no, poop! Don't go back in my butt!"

"HA HA HA. This."

"People falling is funny. Butts are funny too."

"I left and you were sad and missed me and you cried."

"Hi, Haley! Shut up, Nick!"


goodstorysarah said...

"that was you."

"take it off!"

"boobies. you have baby too?!"

i see a trend in what viri is requesting from me.

WildBeggar said...

He is a single minded little man. Sorry. He's a Barker. From 14-25 I'll keep him away from you. Better for all.

Herc said...

I was reading clever books on raising children and couldn't help but understand the understanding that it takes to understand children.(1) This is a preposterous notion, save that it is squirrel-related... and what with me reading hume's dissertation on all things "squirrel" at the heart of understanding, children, methinks and soforth, nevertheless.(2)

"To delight and amaze your children make the likeness of a squirrel from a coarse pastry. Add flags and a tail of marzipan with such holes and trains of gun powder that they may all take fire at once. Place your squirrel on a platter with salt all about it as if aloft a tree! Upon the next platter have a large acorn made from coarse pastry with a long arrow out of the side of it and have it filled with blue pedialite [...]

"Can you hear the scratch-scratch-scratching from the old box elder tree in the early dawn? 'Tis the gray squirrel digging with his mighty paws. He chisels at the tree trunk not only to root out acorns, but also to signal possession of territory to rivals passing by overhead. Yes, squirrel hearing is acute. These rodents hear the soft slither of insect larvae tunneling deep within tree trunks even as they scurry atop the branches among the seraphim. Larvae carve long winding tunnels within the darkness of dying trees. These tunnels may twist for miles without ever twisting back upon themselves. Many a woodsman has lost all reason attempting to trace a single tunnel with a gloved thumb. Squirrels listen carefully and long before making their first tap [...]

"It's true that the Salamander superficially resembles the lizard, but it is easily distinguished by its lack of scales, its ability to regenerate lost limbs, and its habit of sleeping inside rapidly burning fires. Species of salamanders are numerous and found in moist or aqueous habitats in the northern hemisphere. Most are small but some reach up to 30 feet in length and can often inadvertently knock over buildings with a swing of the tail. [...]

(1) This is an unnecessary footnote.
(2) One may believe that I refer here to Brit Hume, but alas, I am recalling the gentle tug of the Handsome Family.

goodstorysarah said...

"NOOO!" NOT A HIPPIE!...papa hippie."