Friday, April 3, 2009

Golden Gardens In April

We visited Golden Gardens again today. It's always one of my favorite parks, and today was a nice day to be outside. Herc and I listened to the ramblings of my insane children, which is always amusing. They both had a good time, and were stuffed with yummy vegan goodness from Wayward Cafe, so it went fairly well.

Viri is starting to be a little rough with Arkaedi, which we're trying to head off at the pass. I really lost my patience with him a few times this week, and I feel bad about that. Both because it isn't fair to him, being three and all, and because it doesn't work. He behaves better when everyone keeps calm. Today we calmly talked to him, and modeled how to act around the baby, and he was much better. She was happier, even, as though she sensed the change in mood when we reacted to his behavior. I think she really did get a sense that it was being dealt with calmly, and responded well to that.

It's easy to be rough with kids. They drive you nuts, and you want to smack them for hurting their sibling, or throwing food. But it just doesn't get results. If I lose it and smack his bottom, I feel bad and he just continues to misbehave. When I keep my voice calm, and explain the situation, he behaves. It's strange, and maybe a little counter-intuitive. I get better results when I stay calm, though, and I can't argue with the evidence. Always start with the reality of what is in front of you, I say. When I see good results from my actions, when everyone leaves the situation feeling better, I'm going to note that. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get the best resolution to the problem for my entire family. It says a lot about the nature of the world that measured reactions get to the heart of the problem, and start the peace process.

I still have a lot to learn about keeping my voice calm, and moving slowly and deliberately. I'm really learning this year what a spastic little man I can be. Good to know, I guess. Another thing my kids have taught me. I'd better not start a list of what they teach me though, it could get embarrassing when that list far surpasses the list of things I teach them. Maybe I can pay Viri back with teaching him to throw a curveball. Of course, knowing him, by the time I get around to showing him a pitch he'll have a whole repertoire and be pitching AAA ball. I just need to resign myself to being a spring board for the best members of my family that will come after me.

I can't throw a good curve anyway.

2 comments:

barker blog said...

i think i just found a new backround picture.little red toddling hood.

WildBeggar said...

I know I love that picture. Pretty is very photogenic, she takes after her Mama.