Anti-Social Socialite

I'm the perfect blend of my mother and father. It's really strange. It isn't that I am surprised by genetics or anything, but I don't seem to lean towards either parent to an appreciable degree. Even down to appearances, I'm proof positive that they actually are my biological parents. I have mom's pale complexion, light green eyes, and traces of red in my beard. My face shape is Roger Barker II, except I'm the super sized version of him, at four or five inches taller and thirty pounds heavier. This well blended version of me is even true of my personality. I'm incredibly social and cheerful, but I don't like being around people because they depress me.

I spend a lot of time at parks, and with kids in general. I like being around kids. Honestly, I love being around kids. (Kids and old people. Give me anyone under five and over seventy.) I think this is due to my odd social anti-social traits. I love the noise and energy of groups, I love people. But I can't take it when people say awful things when they should know better, or talk about nonsense as though it was important. I'm not guiltless, here, of course; I'd bug me too, I imagine. But with children, they are just present, in the moment. They say awful or silly things all the time, but it doesn't bother me, since they can't know better.

I hope I can give my kids the positive aspects of these traits. I think I can help them remain critical of the ridiculousness of our culture while still finding joy in others. There is a place for frivolity, certainly. There are depths to be delved as well. I want them to learn to surround themselves with people who appreciate that. And aren't necessarily above seventy or under five.