It's A Tough Thing To Swallow

This video is from ESPN's coverage of the death of a young Angel's pitcher, Nick Adenhart. He was killed when a drunk driver smashed into his car.

It isn't like me to get really upset over people I don't know. I tend to be pretty emotional, and it's one of the reasons I typically avoid these stories. When I hear something like this, I feel it deeply. I think about it. I can usually forget about it after a while. For some reason, the death of this kid has been on my mind since it happened. I can't seem to forget it. I've watched this video a dozen times, and that just isn't like me at all.

A person commented on my earlier post about sports with blood and violence. I asked J why she thought I didn't like those sports, and she had an interesting response. She said when I see people get hurt, I feel it. When I see blood I taste blood, and I feel the pain. I wouldn't have had a response, but I think she's right. She's known me for seventeen years, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But she nailed that one. I don't have filters. Most things that happen to me happen intensely, and without a barrier. I need to stay away from violence for that reason. Every punch is a punch at me, in a sense.

This story still resonates with me, though, even beyond that. I think a part of it is the tragedy of a young death, and parallels to my mother's young death. A large part of it is the involvement of alcohol in the accident. (WARNING: MINI RANT) It's no secret to anyone who knows me my feelings about alcohol. I think it causes countless problems and pain for people, and the fact that we worship it in this country is disgusting. It's awful that someone previously convicted of drunk driving is out there killing people.

That said, I feel for the kid who did this as well. It was a stupid mistake, that he could spend fifty years of his life in jail for making. That's not good either. I don't want this kid to lose his life as well. I don't think I'd trust him out of jail, though, at this point. So what do you do?

Maybe that's the reason this won't go away for me. It is a losing situation, and everyone comes out hurt. I don't believe in losing situations, and I want an answer that works. When there isn't one, I can't stand it.

I still want the Mariner's to beat the Angels to the AL West title. But I'll be a little less upset now if they don't. At least that way I can imagine this tragedy had an answer for someone.