Seattle Day

Today was an amazing day. Lovely, cool but not cold. It's the kind of fall day that makes Seattle great. Don't talk to me in January, sure. But I love these nice fall days.

This time of year makes me want to buy a farm in Carnation. But then I'd miss the fun city aspects of Seattle. I'm not sure what it is about this city, but I went from hating it a lot to enjoying it a lot. Again don't talk to me in January. But for now...

I took the kids to the library, and to Ken's Market. I love that even in little corner markets here you can get organic food and hummus. They didn't have bulk teas though; I'm going to take Cathy's advice and check out Greenwood Market. At least I can walk there.

I think one reason I'm enjoying the city more is the change in myself over the past few months. Events that have occurred have made me less concerned with ideological differences and more interested in the present moment. I'm not offended by abstractions as easily. Despite problems with this place, it is a good city, with good food and nice people; it doesn't have to fit an image I construct in my mind.

Living in my current neighborhood helps with that. It's a family place, and fits well with the practical realities of my situation. This is where I am with my life, and I'm comfortable with that. I like working with kids, I like raising my kids. I'm not interested in creating my past or future anymore. I'm content with just being who I am, where I am. I've seen firsthand the dangers of living in one's imagination, and I am beginning to understand it now.

That reminds me of one of my favorite poems:

The Rain
BY ROBERT CREELEY

All night the sound had
come back again,
and again falls
this quiet, persistent rain.

What am I to myself
that must be remembered,
insisted upon
so often? Is it

that never the ease,
even the hardness,
of rain falling
will have for me

something other than this,
something not so insistent—
am I to be locked in this
final uneasiness.

Love, if you love me,
lie next to me.
Be for me, like rain,
the getting out

of the tiredness, the fatuousness, the semi-
lust of intentional indifference.
Be wet
with a decent happiness.


I'm not sure why, but that seems fitting.